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…in which Pooh goes hunting for trolls and finds some

Yesterday I suddenly remembered I had never gone on Facebook to read the comments about my article on Natural Parents Network. The new thing seems to be to comment on Facebook instead of directly on a blog, presumably because there are no comment moderators to delete whatever nutty thing they feel like saying. Indeed, moderation is not a word one would routinely ascribe to the Facebook medium.

Anyway, maybe I shouldn’t have gone there, but I did. You could say I was hunting for trolls, but looking back, I’m not sure what I planned to do with them when I located them. And of course, I did locate a few.

Below are the four stages of emotions I experienced upon discovering nasty comments. I don’t typically use gifs in a post, but as Becky has said about the exigencies of the moment, today seems like the perfect time to start using them.

Stage 1: Optimism.

At first I tried to be civil, reminding a rude commenter that everyone deserves a voice.

photo memecenter_1387815292203_172_zps33bb9a2e.gif

Stage 2:  Anger.

This was my low moment, such as when I read a comment from a mom who expressed shock and horror that I would rather let my kids be taken by a stranger than witness Target’s toys. Ignoring sarcasm for the benefit of your argument is one of the worst of many ugly problems happening on Facebook. This was me during that stage:

Gladiator meme

I may or may not have also yelled something ugly…

photo arrested-development-lucille-whore_zps73911de1.gif

In fact, I think there’s an appropriate Lucille Bluth gif for the remainder of my feelings on this subject.

Stage 3: Acceptance (aka. Drinking & Eye-Rolling).

I slid comfortably into this stage when the next troll tried to use the argument of “We should just all stop talking about such first world problems and be happy that our children have clothes at all.”

Lucille Bluth scoff photo arrested-development-lucille-sure_zps172280e6.gif

Stage 4: Boredom.

Eventually I just stopped reading the comments at all.

Lucille Bluth photo

Lucky for me, I’ve been around the block long enough at this point not to let the trolls get to me personally. I never felt grief or humiliation, even when it seemed like that was the intent of the commenter. And hey, I can be the bigger person, so I’ll even say I hope they have the happiest of holidays!

photo arrested-development-lucille-wink_zps0276e390.gif

The gif above became even more perfect when I noticed she winks exactly like how I do it, although mine is unintentionally obvious. I also can’t raise one eyebrow! One of my biggest grievances about my God-given looks is that I have limited facial expressions, rendering me unable to be sarcastic in a subtle manner.

Funny that I wrote about this subject today, when I had every intention of coming here to tell you about our bathroom redesign project. But that can wait. Exigencies!

May your egg nog cup remain full this holiday. Much love to you and yours.
xoxo J