Picking her up at camp…
Vivi: Mommy, I had fun and didn’t miss you.
Driving…
Vivi: This one is not the same as this one.
Me: Oh?
Vivi: I’m not talking to you, Mommy, I’m talking to myself.
Vivi: I don’t like bulls. They’re too horny. (get it? horn-y?)
Me: Come here please so I can put this spray on you.
Vivi: But Mommy, I don’t need to wear any bug scream! (I am going to Proctor & Gamble with this new title, which is clearly superior to "insect spray").
Me: Please eat your oatmeal. I’m eating mine too.
Vivi: And I’m eating mine three!